Counting Stars
by ThisUnitHasNoSoul
Summary: Baby, you're my light in the pitch black night. Tyzula Week.
1. Chapter 1

_**1/3: COSMIC**_

* * *

Everything that kills the disgraced princess makes her feel alive.

Ty Lee wants to do something about it, but she does not know how. She feels like a fake friend, a fake. . . everything. It is not a problem she has ever had to confront, but the guilt that has built inside of her for years and years makes her _ache_ and _burn_ and her dreams are full of bright blue flames.

"Please break up with her," Zuko whispers. His face flushes when he says it, probably from his shame. Ty Lee thinks he _should_ be ashamed of those words, and she wonders when she became such a bad friend. Maybe she _is_ a bad friend. "I know you want to help her but I think that she is—"

"Hopeless," Ty Lee snaps.

"That wasn't what I was going to say," Zuko replies. His eyebrow twitches when he says it, probably from his shame again.

"It's what you meant. Don't tell me you haven't daydreamed about anybody or anything that's impossible. You dreamed about catching the Avatar when everybody said there was no hope." Ty Lee glares at him with a ferocity she did not know she had in her.

"You. . . make a good point," Zuko admits.

He stares at the stone table beneath his hands. It looks vaguely like a night sky, flecks of white paint adorning Royal Obsidian. It is such an ugly table, but when he was banished, he would do anything to be leaning on this hideous furniture.

"I don't think we're even together."

"You're sleeping together."

"Those aren't the same. Ask Suki."

"Stop making this about me! I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling like that."

"I know you are. I think Azula can be who—"

"You _want_ her to be. She's a wreck and you just want to fix the bad girl," Zuko states firmly. " _Oh_ , she's just a hurt little girl underneath that horrible surface."

Ty Lee averts her eyes. Then she conjures courage again.

"You were the first person to try to help her."

"It didn't work. I know she's not fully horrible, but she wants to play the villain and I'm going to let her because my sister doesn't bend to anyone. If the sky fell on her she would break it for trying to touch her without permission."

"She lets me touch her without permission." Ty Lee feels uncomfortable about that assertion. "I'm in love with her and I'm going to keep trying. I will _not_ stop, because someday she could be like you. But sexier."

"Hey."

"You're very sexy. I'm not sure if you're my type, though." She pats his shoulder, gives him a teasing wink, and goes to find Azula outside.

It is a cold night for summer and Ty Lee tries to ignore how quickly she begins to shiver. There she is. She is not herself because she _never_ is. Ty Lee does not tolerate it, but she knows that controlling Azula is not the right way to go. But she won't let Azula destroy herself either.

Those are the lessons she has learned.

Ty Lee sits down beside the princess. She is looking somewhat disdainfully at the sky.

"What?"

"I'm imagining things moving in it. Or my vision is maybe just blurry. I am seeing about three of you. All of them look like you are trying to be my mother."

"That's gross." Ty Lee crosses her arms and lets her thigh rest against Azula's eyes as she leans back and looks up. No words are needed for a few lengthy moments. "You're not imagining things. I just saw two."

"They're so small. It's pathetic."

"Yeah. Probably." Ty Lee does not know what to say. "You stare at things way too often. You need a hobby. I'll find you a hobby."

"Oh, my participation in a _hobby_ is very expensive."

"I'll pay it. Because, seriously, you're like really boring."

"I will pretend you did not say that."

"I'll pretend you don't say that _all the time_."

Their argument does not progress very far, because Azula kisses Ty Lee's lips.

That feels so right, even though it probably is wrong. Ty Lee has slept with Azula exclusively when she is livid or drunk or hiding vulnerability or all three. Those don't. . . they don't _count_ , do they? It's probably one of those right now, but Ty Lee is too cold and too hot to think about it.

She never did like the lines between right and wrong.

Ty Lee leans in closer.

They shouldn't.

They do.

They wouldn't lie; it is the only thing that makes them feel alive.


	2. Chapter 2

_**2/3: PARADISE**_

* * *

In Azula's opinion, dreaming about their relationship is pointless. She used to think predicting the future was simple; she used to have her life planned out for the next twenty years. That comet proved how absurd that was.

Life twists. Life turns. Life punches you in the gut over and over again.

Ty Lee does not seem to understand that concept. Perhaps nothing bad has ever happened to her before. That is always a feasible possibility when it comes to the girl standing in front of Azula.

"Okay, we get to go on a vacation," Ty Lee says brightly. She does not stop smiling as she speaks.

"I do not want to go on vacation, and I do not do things I do not want to do," Azula purrs.

Ty Lee cocks her head to the side.

"That was confusing," she says, expecting Azula to explain herself further. Or at least be happy about their vacation.

"No, it's actually very forward and easy to understand," Azula replies impatiently. She sips at the drink in her hand that Ty Lee so lovingly made. Well, and _enabled_ , but if it makes Azula happy she wants to do it.

"Name your paradise," Ty Lee offers, her grin growing. That might work.

"Away from this conversation," Azula snaps.

Ty Lee sighs before she realizes how unkind that was.

"Oh, _come on_ , be honest."

"That was honest," Azula retorts, frowning at the accusation of lying when she is, for once, telling the truth. "Do you mean a less immediate paradise?"

"Sure." Ty Lee shrugs.

Azula sighs.

"Away from this palace."

Ty Lee's eyes sparkle. She feels very hopeful now.

"Okay, that's the definition of vacation," she chirps.

"No, vacations are by definition, impermanent. I want to be permanently away from this palace." Azula cannot even summon the willpower to drink.

"Well, my paradise is wherever you are." Ty Lee bats her eyelashes.

That is the last straw. Azula sits up on her knees. "Firstly, if your paradise is right here, right now, with me, that's awfully depressing. Secondly, I think you have a severe problem that no one has ever pointed out."

"Yes?" Ty Lee leans back with her lips pursed.

"You say things you think people in love should say. Like _I love you more than anyone has ever loved anything_ , or _my paradise is wherever you are_ , or _I want to help you because I love you_. You believe our relationship should be how a child imagines relationships.

"You want to go on fancy dates, to buy each other sweet, socially appropriate gifts. For us to smile in each other's presence constantly. For us to never ever argue about anything, although that one could just be out of fear of my wrath so I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

"You want romance to be endless glamour, like some kind of unending _paradise_ – which is probably why you think our alleged love is paradise – and that may be fun for you briefly, but if you ever want to have a _real_ relationship with me that _lasts_ , you should perhaps wake up to what love _actually_ looks like."

And that makes her cry, of course. Azula often regrets it when she says things that make Ty Lee sob, but right now, Azula thinks Ty Lee needs it. She needs to burn herself on the fire to learn that fire is hot. She needs to get hurt and argue to learn that love isn't solely fun and games.

"You're mean," Ty Lee chokes.

Azula has zero sympathy.

"You ask me to be honest more often," she purrs.

"I don't ask you to be cruel and heartless," Ty Lee shrieks.

"If you haven't noticed after all of these years, I _am_ cruel and heartless, and I always have been. You _should_ notice that I do not have to be honest with you, and I could just play along with your fantasy until I was tired of sleeping with you. That is probably the kindest thing I have ever done."

Ty Lee doesn't say anything.

She sniffles, sobs and walks away.

Azula cannot believe this, but she just returns to the drink in her hand.


	3. Chapter 3

_**3/3: HOT & COLD**_

* * *

"I thought about what you said," announces Ty Lee as she enters Azula's room without invitation.

Azula looks up from her meditation. She almost did not expect Ty Lee to speak to her.

"Surprising," Azula comments, silencing the candles. "What do you want?"

Ty Lee wants to take offense, but knows she should value Azula's rare bout of honesty. Azula may be like a child; she lies to hurt people and is honest to hurt people, but Ty Lee usually leaves her over the lying habit.

"Well, I know our relationship is kind of hot and cold but. . ." Ty Lee loses her focus. Azula is paying too much attention to her, and that makes her nervous. "I think you're right."

"Of course I am," Azula replies.

Ty Lee walks to her and sits right beside her.

"I think you had to love me a lot to say that," Ty Lee lightly says, and Azula supposes she should have expected this act yet again. The _epic romance_ nonsense Ty Lee adores.

"Also not too difficult to figure out," says Azula.

"I think you're wrong for me," Ty Lee says.

It hurts Azula briefly, but Azula is used to that sting. They are the most off again on again couple in Fire Nation history.

"Unsurprising," Azula says. "Perhaps surprising to you. You always seem shocked when we break up."

"I thought maybe we were still broken up and just sleeping together. Never mind. My last thought is that: Zuko is right and I should break up with you," Ty Lee says. She expects to be snapped at, but Azula does not move a muscle.

"It is hard for you to handle the truth, isn't it? Goodbye then."

"I said _should_ , not _would_."

"I am now lost." Azula turns to face Ty Lee. Their noses now almost touch.

"I think it's dumb to just do what you're told. I'm not as dumb as I act. I think you're wrong for me, but no wrong thing has ever felt so right." Ty Lee kisses her.

Azula pulls away first.

"And. . .?" She does not like this. Ty Lee clearly learned nothing from Azula's efforts to be clear to her.

"Will you marry me?" Ty Lee breathlessly asks with a warm smile and her hand on her heart.

"Maybe," Azula replies. "I'm not saying _no,_ I am just saying—"

"You _need me_ and I _need you_."

Azula sighs and stands up.

"This is exactly what I was talking about. You do not understand love outside of adolescent daydreams and I am not marrying you because of some kneejerk _speech_. I am far better at those than you are," she says stiffly.

Ty Lee expected her to melt, but there is still hope.

"If I don't get it. . . teach me."

"You're an awful student."

"You're an awful teacher."

"Maybe I will. I'm not saying _no_ , I am just saying—"

Ty Lee kisses her.

Nobody learned anything from Zuko's commentary and Azula's brutal honesty, but the bed _is_ just right over there and it's so difficult to have cold, mature discussions with it so hot in here.


End file.
